Member Questionnaire (Maddex)

Member Questionnaire 1 (Maddex)

What is beauty? What is love?

Beauty is a body you long for, a mind that intrigues you, or a sight/place/sound that draws you. Love is a feeling that is forced upon you and that you cannot escape. Despite commonly being mistaken as someone who creates your happiness its truly someone who you wish to share the rest of your life with not because you can't live without them but because every aspect of your life would be lessened without them being by your side whether it be physically or mentally.

What are your most important values?

Respect, loyalty, the pursuit of knowledge, individual Independence but deep emotional connection, and the attainment of power.

Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?

No, not really, but recently I've been reading about Brian Weiss's take on "spirituality" I guess you could call it and I enjoy it the most out of all the beliefs on souls and the afterlife an what not that I've read. Its abstract and beautiful and if any belief was to be true I would hope that it is his. I don't really believe in other religions because they're all lies and ways to give their leader positions power. The world would be better off without them.

Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?

Military power is important for a country. It gives you legitimacy and importance (also in case of alien invaders) but despite this war is nevertheless pointless and is only good at stopping the exponential growth of the human population. Everything can be solved without war and violence, but human insecurity and extrinsic searches for happiness prevent these nonviolent actions from being viable. However given these truths and the world we live in money is power, good looks are power, the ability to manipulate is power, and knowledge is power.

What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?

Money, looks, personality typing, lots of philosophy, sometimes cars, computers, drugs, the pursuit of happiness, scientific theory, piano, and lots of psychology. I see all of these things as ways to improve myself and become a stronger, better, more powerful person so I can take and have what I want out of life at a moments notice.

Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?

I lift so yes I am focused on my body. I know a lot about drugs illegal and legal and their effects on the body and despite being young I've experienced a plethora of health problems in my last few years of living so I try to eat and stay healthy. Its a topic I enjoy talking about but only when I'm really in the mood.

What do you think of daily chores?

They're important but dull. I try not to have a lot of them but structure in life is important and maintaining said structure is a good exercise of one's willpower.

Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.

I don't typically watch movies so this one is difficult. Fight club, The Wolf of Wall street, Her, Inside Job, all the new Batman movies, all the Star Wars movies but I've yet to see the new one, the Iron Man movies, and Limitless. And good books I've read are Many Lives Many Masters, Only Love is Real, Meditations, The Power of Now, and Everyday.

What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?

Being hurt by a significant other is probably whats made me cry the most in my life along with missing them. A pet dying or family member dying but not as much as watching them suffer. Building a computer or driving a fast car makes me smile along with meeting someone I'm interested in whether it be romantically or not or having a good conversation with someone. Meeting a beautiful girl who isn't a dumb-ass is always nice too.

Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?

When I'm in my car or a nice car in general or with my ex-girlfriend.

What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?

I'm obsessive, dwell too much on the past, too paranoid/not trusting (I personally see this a good thing), depressed, too money driven (also think this is a good thing), too anxious, too angry, too stubborn, too shallow (I like this about me as well never settle for less), and I never open up to people, ever. Oh and I hate almost everyone.

What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?

High willpower, independent, intelligent, creative, I don't really know how to answer this question I don't think about these things nor do I take compliments well.

In what areas of your life would you like help?

I want to find happiness within myself, dwell on the past less, and become the best me I can be.

Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.

Break ups, whenever I do poorly in a class or at the gym, or not having some sort of cash flow. My reaction is usually to change my habits to better equip myself for the situation at hand.

What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?

FEMINISTS, THEY MUST ALL DIE OR BE SENT TO SPECIAL CAMPS. They're fucking awful and I don't give a fuck if this offends you because you're most likely one of those self loathing polarized fucks. Any politically correct or cultural appropriation loving Nazi. Super nice people creep me out and really controlling people conflict with my want to control things. This is going to go on for a while I pretty much hate everyone. Idiots waste my time, you don't have to be attractive but I prefer my company to be (yeah I'm shallow and don't care), if you're too quiet you're boring, too talkative then you need to shut up, frat kids, people with awful voices, basic sluts, and people with no manners. I mean the list goes on forever so lets do the shorter list. Intelligence, good looks, manners, forgetfulness (I don't know why I just have found myself enjoying people who always forget to do things because then I can remind them or its just funny), deep minds, respectfulness, spatial awareness, self-awareness, being direct, oh and smelling nice and not awful or like a cheap whore gets right on my good side along with being very clean. If you aren't clean you aren't coming near me.

How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?

I like sex, I'd say I have a high sex drive but I don't see sex's importance in social engagement. Sex is for temporary pleasure and relief and not for another notch on your belt. While its definitely very important in my relationships whats much more important to me is being able to sit with a girl for hours and talk about anything together. I don't care about romance or sex as much as I do about having an intellectual partner who I can have deep conversations with and connect with on a very emotional level. This is the only person in the world I will drop my guard around and thus she is the only person I will share my feelings with. My partners need to be loyal, respectful, and kind hearted. Someone who thinks in relation to herself and to me. They need to show their true feelings back when I show mine and let down their walls when I let down mine. They need to be intelligent and mature but spontaneous and fun loving. I want someone who can be a conduit for my thoughts and feelings while also reciprocating their own in a much different light. I don't really know how to put any of this.

If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?

I don't want kids. I don't think I'll ever want kids but if for some idiotic reason I decide I do or accidentally end up with one of those gross little demon alien wastes of money then my main concerns would be teaching them: manners, respect, how to hold yourself, knowledge is power, happiness is intrinsic, and school/learning is really important.

A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?

Sometimes I'll argue until I see that its pointless and other times I'll just let it go. It really depends on what the issue is and whether or not I'm interested in the topic, well informed on the topic, and who it is that holds that belief. Maybe they can teach me something or maybe I can teach them something.

Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.

Most people are stupid, ignorant and or arrogant, society is shit its values are shit, apparently my generation has no sense of self which makes most people annoying little shits and honestly I kind of just hate everyone except for these very few people who I find afloat in this sea of mental disability and I cherish their presence until they bore me or betray me and then I move on with my life. I've only ever met 3 people I actually wanted to know for my entire life. And a prevalent social problem would be any polarized social movement that people identify with due to a lack of self i.e. modern feminism, extremist groups, rave culture, ect.

How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?

If they're interesting, I have things in common with them, they're respectful and I can in some small way let a little bit of my guard down around them, I enjoy spending and do spend time with them then I consider them my friend. When around them I'm more light hearted, still reserved but not as much, I'm more socially engaged and try to be less stoic. Possibly crack a joke or two.

How do you behave around strangers?

I don't really say much, I've very stoic, respectful, I think twice before doing anything, and I'm pretty self conscious not really for insecurity reasons but more appearance reasons. I want to give off a certain vibe, and its the don't bother me unless I want you to/I'm better than you.

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Member Questionnaire (Maddex)